Long before his death, we knew that dad wanted to have his ashes in The Nile in Egypt, more specifically in the part of The Nile that runs through Luxor. This city, once the ancient city of Thebes, is home to the Luxor and Karnak temples, Valley of the Kings, Colossi of Memnon, Deir el-Bahri temple and is enveloped by the incredibly rich culture and history of the Egyptian people. Dad and my mom spent time vacationing in Egypt, and he was fascinated by all that it had to offer. Although he was not very religious, dad had a deep sense of spirituality, and felt strongly that he had a connection to Egypt, transcended from a previous life. His belief in reincarnation and the idea that death was really only the beginning at times seemed unusual and difficult to grasp, but that was part of what made my dad special – he was larger than life; an old soul who understood the transient nature of the world. It was one of the things that I loved most about him, and it is one of the things that has comforted me in my grief.
When dad died, we knew that the best way we could honor his life was to fulfill his wish. So mom planned for us – me, her, Em, Brett, and a couple who have long been close family friends – to travel to Egypt for a private memorial service. We would use the opportunity to spend a few days in England, too, as Brett had never been and Em and I hadn’t been in almost 10 years. We expected the trip to be a wonderful experience.

It was more than that. We had amazing weather (warm and sunny in England – who knew?!), wonderful sightseeing, easy flights, and so much more. We came together as a family. And we did exactly what he asked of us – we hired a felucca, an Egyptian sailboat, for a late afternoon sail on The Nile. We laughed. We cried. We told stories of the wonderful man we knew. And as the warm sun set over the West Bank, and the felucca captain sang a prayer in Arabic, we scattered dad’s ashes, giving him a final resting place, none so fitting than in a land of overwhelming pride, history, and everlasting spirit.

I don’t think that much more can be said about the trip, or that I can say much more… I’m still absorbing it all. What I will say is that we had a wonderful time, and I hope that, insh’Allah, I’ll be able to visit Luxor again someday soon. But most importantly, I’m just so happy to know dad is where he most wanted to be.

<3 J

Update: That didn’t work at all… So here are the photos in normal format.

Julia and I are in England with Julia’s sister and mother.  We will leave for Egypt on Tuesday.  I’ll let Julia post with more detail, but in the meantime, here are some photos from Stonehenge, Salisbury, and Lacock.  Click “there’s more to…” to see them all, or visit my SmugMug.

A lot has happened since I wrote an actual update post. Here’s a recap:

Francis “Frank” Bolton

My dad’s death on March 27th almost brought life to a standstill. While he’d been sick for a couple of weeks, and certainly hadn’t been himself since suffering a fall last October when a heart condition caused him to collapse and his defibrillator kicked in, I cannot in any way say that his death was imminent or expected. On the morning of the 27th he went into cardiac arrest, and died at home. He did not suffer, and he would never have seen it coming. I guess his body was just tired of almost 75 well lived years. I find comfort in the fact that his time on earth came to an end just the way he would have wanted – quickly and painlessly – and he was in a place where he felt most at home. It’s been two months since dad’s death and while it seems like almost yesterday that we were having afternoon tea together on the back deck, it also feels as though he’s been gone for a very long time. I miss him every day, but through my memories of him I have reason to make the most of my own time on earth, and honor his life in everything that I do.

In the fall, we will do our best to honor dad’s wish of having his ashes scattered in the Nile River in Egypt. He and mom spent about a month in Egypt in 2005, a trip which had been one of his life-long dreams. Although he lived for a number of years in the Middle East, both alone and with my mom, he had never been to Egypt but felt a strong connection to its culture and vast history. During the last week of October mom, Em, Brett and I will fly to London where we’ll connect with my brother Alastair, his wife Gabi, and their daughter (my neice) Anna, as well as very good friends of my parents’, Anne and Jim Jamel from Ireland. From there we will fly to Luxor, where we will spend a few days celebrating dad’s memory. It will certainly be a bittersweet trip, but I think it will really give us all some peace to honor dad’s last wishes.

The wedding

Despite our unexpected loss, we never considered changing the vacation and wedding as planned. On the contrary, I think focusing on wedding preparation really helped us all to cope with the overwhelming loss. We spent just over a week on Grand Cayman before the wedding took place on May 1st. While a post with all of the details of the wedding would take ages to write (and even longer to read!) I’ll put it simply that we had an absolutely lovely time. The wedding itself took place on a Friday, but most of the 24 guests stayed from Wednesday to Sunday. While we had some organized activities, including a boat trip to the famous Stingray City and a “rehearsal dinner” at a delicious Tex-Mex restaurant (no need for an actual rehearsal, since the ceremony was very casual), for the most part we wanted all of our guests to enjoy themselves and do what they wanted – after all, this was as much of a vacation as it was a wedding celebration for most of our guests.

I’d heard brides say that their wedding days went by way in the blink of an eye, and I can absolutely say the same for mine. One of Brett’s main concerns before the wedding was that I not stress about details and decisions on the actual day of our wedding, and because of that we decided that we would spend much of the day alone, together. For most of the morning we relaxed, walked on the beach, and chatted with guests (ok, so we weren’t technically alone, but it was time spent relaxing as the preparations of the day were taken care of by our moms and wedding party). The time seemed to go by more quickly as the day went on, and by the time we actually arrived together at the Grand Old House, we had very little time to enjoy getting ready. For those of you who don’t know, one of the decisions we made in advance was to make our time together before the ceremony more intimate by dressing each other alone, without any other family or friends. While the idea of getting dressed with the special ladies in my life would have certainly been wonderful, Brett and I both really liked the idea of seeing each other in our wedding attire for the first time alone, so that it would be a private moment shared only by us. It was made even more special by the fact that Brett surprised me by wearing a long-sleeve button down white linen shirt and linen pants, while I was under the false impression all along that he had been quite lackadaisical about finding wedding attire, and would resort to wearing a wrinkled and stained polo shirt and cargo shorts. I was very pleasantly surprised, although I have to admit that I had a hunch all along that he would not disappoint, and he did look incredibly handsome. The outfits of the groomsmen, chosen by Brett’s friend Adam, were also a pleasant surprise – gray linen shirts and white linen pants complimented the blue silk taffeta bridesmaid dresses. As for my dress, early on in my search I fell in love with the Lee Ann Belter Lois – a strapless silk satin floor-length gown with a border of lace. Lee Ann’s dresses are all custom made, so I was able to request the dress without a train, and with the satin waist ribbon detachable, so that I could decide whether I wanted to wear it or not. The dress was purchased from The Plumed Serpent – a bridal boutique in nearby Westport that came very highly recommended when we were first starting to look for dresses. All-in-all I was very happy with the experience that I had when choosing my gown from them, as opposed to choosing it from a much larger boutique that I had the horror of experiencing (I’m looking at you, Kleinfelds). I loved my dress, and I was really happy that Brett seemed to like it too!

Now, to the wedding itself. When trying to decide on the details of the ceremony, we were a little stuck about the fact that the person who would actually be responsible for marrying us would be in essence, a stranger.  We decided to ask our friend Scott Cook, who we’ve both blogged about many times before, if he would be willing to be our officiant. We were delighted when he not only agreed, but was enthusiastic about being ordained. We enjoy referring to him as Reverend Cook, adding to his existing titles of Professor, Doctor, Dive Master, and outdoorsman extraordinare. The service was just as we had wanted it – short, sweet, and meaningful. While I often scoffed at the idea that rain on one’s wedding day is good luck (I’ve always thought it was just said to make brides feel better), and joked that I would probably be the bride unlucky enough to have rain on my wedding day IN PARADISE, I admit I didn’t mind when, just shortly after the ceremony had finished and we were safely enjoying champagne and hors d’oeuvres under a tent on the deck, there was a fleeting shower. After it was through, our photographer, Courtney Platt, was able to take some really pretty shots of us with the tumultuous sky (sunset included) in the background. Speaking of Courtney, we were both really pleased with the way he photographed the wedding, and with the way the actual wedding photos from him came out – no small feat when the groom himself is a photographer. During the cocktail and hors d’oeuvres hour we took some standard portrait shots as well as some candid fun photos. Then, we cut the cake – an event that garnered some great shots of Brett and I completely COVERING each other in chocolate and vanilla – before sitting down to a really amazing meal in a lovely gazebo. The food and wine was delicious, and the service was excellent. Although we didn’t have a DJ (the Grand Old House plays really wonderful jazz and classical throughout the restaurant) or dancing, it was really wonderful to just relax, sit back, and completely stuff ourselves. Afterward, we went back to the condominiums where we stayed, to sit by the pool and jacuzzi. We really couldn’t have asked for anything more for our wedding day.

Little Cayman

Most guests stayed on the island until Sunday, at which time we waved a bittersweet goodbye as they returned home and we flew to Little Cayman for our honeymoon – a four day stay at the Little Cayman Beach Resort for some S.C.U.B.A. diving with Scott and Laura. The island is MUCH smaller than Grand Cayman – only 150 permanent residents – and is still recovering from some pretty devastating effects caused by the hurricanes of 2008. The resort has done an incredible job of repairing and rebuilding – the rooms are really sleek with environmental wares and come equipped with flat screen televisions and iPod docks. The food, served buffet style in one restaurant that feeds the entire resort, was incredibly fresh and delicious – the chef even prepared special meals for Brett and me to meet our vegetarian needs. Additionally, the diving was spectacular. We dove twice each morning for three days and saw some really beautiful animals and reef life. The dive staff was really helpful and very friendly. As you can probably tell, the whole experience, both the wedding and the honeymoon, was really enjoyable and memorable. From what we can tell, all of our guests really enjoyed themselves too, and we couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Well, I think that’s enough for now! I haven’t even gotten to the topic of work life but, about which there are definitely updates to be discussed, but I think I’ll save that for another post – hopefully tomorrow or Tuesday.

Until then, how about you? What’s new in your lives? We’d love to know who’s still following our blog, and to hear about your life updates. We’ll look forward to them!

<3 J

Julia and I have been married for nearly a month now and I’m just getting around to posting photos from Grand Cayman, Little Cayman, our wedding, and our post-wedding beach bash.

For now, I’m just going to post photos, since they are ready to go.  I think Julia will do a more comprehensive post of what actually went on sometime this week.

First of all, it’s probably easiest to just follow these links to my SmugMug see galleries of photos:

My non-wedding photos from our trip

Our wedding photos (taken by Courtney Platt)

Our beach party photos

And here are some random other shots:

A cabana is framed by a tree on a public beach in the East End area of Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands.

Visitors walk the dock at a public beach in the East End area of Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands.

Julia walks along the beach at the Little Cayman Beach Resort, Little Cayman, Cayman Islands.

Brett and Julia's beach party at Bayley Beach in Rowayton, CT. Click the image to see a larger version.

As Brett mentioned in his Toronto photo post, during the first week of December we were both able to take some time off of work and went to Toronto to spend some time with our friend Rita and enjoy a small escape from our day-to-day routine.

Having visited Toronto last year on our road-trip for over 10 days, we new before arriving that there were a few places we definitely wanted to revisit – and, no surprise here, they were all restaurants. We found while in Toronto last year that the city has some truly amazing restaurants – and this time, we were determined to visit all of our favorites, and also try some new ones. Behold, a list of recommended restaurants if ever you find yourself in the Toronto area:

Crêpes à GoGo: Our absolute favorite place for a daily indulgence. We visited a few times while in the city because the food is deeeelicious and the atmosphere is fantastic – it is owned by a French woman who is incredibly kind and welcoming, along with her all-woman French staff. Additionally, there were many French patrons coming and going, often greeting the owner and her staff. My usual order was brie, honey, and egg crepe (my mouth is watering as I think about the taste), while Brett regularly ordered the maple syrup and strawberries crepe. If you ever visit Toronto and want an undeniably good treat, please get thee to Crêpes à GoGo at least once.

Asian Legend: We had two fantastic meals at this Asian restaurant while we were visiting on the road-trip, but for some reason both Brett and I agreed that the meal we had this time around was not quite as good as we expected. Perhaps it was because we forgot what we ordered the first (and second) time and therefore couldn’t remember what we enjoyed. We still had a great meal, though, and what makes the restaurant great (similarly to Crêpes à GoGo) is that the restaurant attracts people of its ethnicity – most of the customers in Asia Legend were Asian. To me, that’s always a good sign that the food is somewhat authentic.

Smoke’s Poutinierie: This restaurant is included on my list not because Brett and I loved the food, but more because the food is an experience in and of itself. Poutine is basically a dish of French fries and cheese curds, seasoned, and soaked in gravy. We (naturally) had the vegetarian version at Smoke’s, which involves the same ingredients, but replaces beef gravy with vegetarian gravy. I have to say that, while we didn’t totally love this dish, we were quite intrigued by it, and did manage to eat quite a respectable portion of our serving. I think that I personally didn’t enjoy the gravy, and that is what threw the whole dish off for me – I can deduce this by the fact that French fries and cheese curds together can, under no circumstances, result in an adverse reaction from myself and other inner gluttons alike.

Burrito Boyz: Immediately after our Poutine experience, we went literally downstairs to this hideaway burrito joint just below street level. Although we were no longer what you could call hungry, we decided to order a small vegetarian burrito because Rita ensured us that it was the best burrito in town – and she was certainly right. The burrito was toasted, full, spicy, and no doubt delicious. We could easily see why many residents satisfy late night cravings at Burrito Boyz.

Terroni: Brett and I had tried to have dinner at this restaurant while we were in Toronto on the road trip, but upon arrival at the restaurant we were told that the wait was over an hour long and no reservations or names were taken. This time around was a bit different. After attending the One of a Kind Show (more on that in a bit), Rita, Brett and I met Marc, at Terroni’s for dinner. While all of the dishes we saw at tables around us looked mouthwatering, Brett and I decided to order simple dishes – a margherita pizza and spaghetti with marinara sauce, because as Brett says if an Italian restaurant cannot make the simplest of Italian dishes, then the restaurant should probably not be serving food. I can honestly say that regardless of whether the dishes themselves were “simple” in nature, they were certainly NOT lacking in flavor and deliciousness. Both Brett and I were so unsatisfied by this meal that we had on our last night in Toronto, that we visited a different location for lunch as our final meal the next day! Our experience in this popular and trendy (but not pretentious) restaurant was well worth the year-long wait we endured to have the Terroni experience.

In addition to totally gorging ourselves on wonderful food, we actually did manage to see other parts of the city as well! We spent some time wandering around the many shopping on King Street, and we had a really wonderful dinner with some family on my mom’s side of the family who I had not seen in years – two of whom are going to be at our wedding in May. We also spent a number of hours at One of a Kind Show (mentioned above), which is an incredibly vast and varied art show featuring thousands of Canadian sellers. There were all sorts of goodies for sale here – everything from herb seeds, to fur hats, to intricate sculptures, and more. Oh, and because it’s somewhat obvious that Brett and I like food (A LOT), it may come as no surprise to you that we had a blast in the food area of the show – we were able to sample all sorts of delicious and unique foods. I took a liking to some wine jams and Balsamic Fig Tapenade (which I delightfully bought), while Brett excitedly bought a concoction called “Hurricane Mash” – a hot sauce that is not for the faint of hearts (or throats). We had a really great time and made some very worthwhile purchases.

Needless to say, we had a really enjoyable time in Toronto. It was so great to see Rita, and it was so nice of her to let us stay in her apartment again. It was also great to spend time with David and Mary so that they could meet Brett before the wedding, and also meet other members of my extended family at the same time. I hope we will get to go back to Toronto again sometime soon, if for nothing else than the great friends and delicious food!

Click “there’s more to…” to see them all or visit my SmugMug.

The CN Tower overlooks an ice skating rink at Harbourfront Centre.

Julia, Patricia, David, and Mary

Have you ever seen fries at a Taco Bell?

Rita models her new hat at the One Of A Kind show.

Julia and Rita

Rita tries to stay warm.

Crepes A Go Go

Pizza and pasta from Terroni

After a horrible airport and flight experience, this is a good start to our time in Toronto.

Unfortunately, Data was suffering from a minor injury (a pulled muscle or pinched nerve in his back or neck), so we left him with my mom to recover.  We would have loved to have him with us, but in his condition he would not have been able.

We arrived at the Adirondack Loj Saturday and realized we wouldn’t have time to hike in before dark.  Instead, we did a quick warm-up hike up Mount Jo before going into Lake Placid to buy our food.  We stopped by Jimmy’s 21 for dinner, which was very good.  We slept in the car (just like old times) Saturday night.

On Sunday morning, we hiked 2 miles in to Marcy Dam.  The weather was cool and overcast – perfect for hiking.  There had been some nasty rain during the night, but things cleared up by the time we got to the dam.  We found an empty lean-to and dropped off our overnight bags.  We packed small day bags and began the journey of the day.

We originally planned to summit Algonquin, the second-highest peak in New York, but as the day pressed on, we realized that there were two problems with that plan:

1. We wouldn’t have time to summit and get back to camp before dark.
2. Algonquin’s peak was completely under cloud cover.

We decided instead to summit Wright Peak, an approximately 4,500-foot beast (500 feet shorter than Algonquin) that would shave a mile off of our route.

The hike was strenuous, and we stopped a few times to rest, eat, drink, and dunk our heads in waterfalls and streams along the way.  The payoff at the summit was worth it, though.  Unlike Algonquin, which was completely obscured by a massive, dark cloud, visibility was surprisingly good atop Wright.  We were above the treeline and the wind was really whipping along at approximately 70 miles-per-hour, but that made it even more exciting.  A few small clouds passed around us and we enjoyed a few minutes of solitude as the only people on the mountain at that point.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t linger long.  We hustled back down the mountain and made our way to the lean-to.  The last mile or so of our trek was made by the light of the nearly-full moon.  We had a light, but it’s always nice to exercise the night vision every once in a while.

Throughout the night we were treated to extremely powerful winds, which was nice because it kept the bears away.  Since we were in a lean-to, it wasn’t much of a nuisance.

Monday morning, we hiked out and headed home, stopping for lunch with our friend, Pete, in Lake George.

All told, we hiked approximately 12 miles with an elevation change of over 3,000 feet.  Not bad!

Here are some photos from the mountains…as always, click “there’s more to” to see them all or visit my SmugMug.

Approaching the summit of Wright Peak. Click the image for a larger version.

Fall colors were just getting started.

Heart Lake and the High Peaks from Mount Jo.

Ol' Club Foot, a grouchy toad, giving me the finger.

A better look at Ol' Club Foot's club foot.

Julia scaling some rocky part of the trail.

Approaching the summit of Wright Peak.

Julia battling high winds at the summit of Wright Peak.

Algonquin, the mountain we originally planned to climb.

Julia posing next to a cairn on Wright Peak.

I have a confession to make: I realize that I made not a single post to the blog while on vacation and I have to admit that I’m completely okay with that. After a particularly stressful few work weeks and lots to do at home while my family was in Europe, what I needed most was a break from the computer to read, sleep, and generally enjoy my vacation (and engagement!); besides, Brett is such a good poster that I knew he could handle the duty. Anyway, I hope you’ve been keeping up with the vacation posts and checked out all of Brett’s amazing photographs on the blog and also on his SmugMug gallery. (If you haven’t done so, now is as good a time as any!) Here are a few of my thoughts regarding the vacation:

This Egypt and Jordan vacation was my first experience with group travel and tourism. There were noticeable advantages and disadvantages, some of which Brett had warned me about and some of which were somewhat unforeseen. First, and I knew this going in, there was quite a rigorous itinerary for sightseeing and other activity. On the one hand, I wasn’t exactly pleased to be waking up earlier on vacation than I do when preparing for a day of work; after returning to Connecticut I felt like I had to relax and rest to recover from vacation itself. However, I understand that considering the destination an easy-going, laid-back vacation wasn’t exactly the best option: most people don’t go to Egypt to sleep in and relax by the beach, but instead they go, oftentimes as a once-in-a-lifetime vacation, to see the remains of an ancient Egypt that at one time was the most powerful civilization in the world. They also go, as we did, to get a taste of the exotic and luxurious, as exemplified in our stay at the prestigious Sharm el Sheikh Sheraton and Red Sea scuba diving. The whiner in me says that I wanted a vacation where the pace was slower than that of my daily work life, but the realist in me realizes that, were I to have planned my own vacation with my own itinerary, I probably wouldn’t have had the different opportunities available to me/us, and probably wouldn’t done or seen half of the things that were part of our well-planned itinerary. The realist in me understands that when it comes to having seen and experienced ancient as well as modern Egypt, we definitely got our vacation’s worth.

One of the most frustrating disadvantages to group travel is that when there are 20+ people traveling in a group, it means that there are 20+ egos, temper tantrums, ignorant outbursts, and selfish behavioral characteristics to take into consideration. While I always enjoy spending time with Brett, his family, as well as Laura (co-owner of WEU and our group leader), and getting to know Laura’s daughter, Aubrey, and her boyfriend, Colin, there were certainly some participants on the trip who negatively contributed to my experience on the vacation. There were those who were notoriously late for group gatherings, those who constantly made special requests, both of Laura and the chefs or the like, and also those who clearly needed a lesson (or many) on respecting all aspects of a foreign culture. In my opinion, the worst offenders were those who were ignorant enough to make certain assumptions about Egypt and Jordan, and especially the people of these countries. I would think that if one were going on vacation to foreign countries, those of which have great comparable differences when it comes to some aspects of everyday life, that one would do everything to respect these differences – especially in a region of the world where Americans aren’t exactly praised for their actions and policies. However, I guess my expectations were too high for some participants and they often reminded me of my inaccuracy. What I will say is that Laura did her very best to wrangle in the egos and the ignorance – no small feat.

On another note, I was completely appalled by the fact that in Egypt there is garbage EVERYWHERE. I’m seriously not exaggerating when I say that there was trash in heaps lining streets, and an unbelievable amount of trash polluting the Nile River; on the first full day that we were in Cairo, Brett and I actually saw men pumping sewage into the river, and we also saw a dead donkey floating casually down the river! Manal, our guide, told us about the various problems that Egyptian residents have with the high cost and general ineffectiveness of trash collection, and there was certainly no lack of evidence of the latter. There is a general lack of trash receptacles in most places, and where there are such containers they are often full to the point that the garbage has started to form an arc above the bin. In the countryside, especially on our drive from St. Catherine’s Monastery to Taba, it was very strange to see only a few trees, scattered about, and yet all were covered in plastic bags that had clearly been flying around freely until becoming entangled in the branches with little chance of ever escaping. Additionally, on the same portion of trip, at one point the driver of our coach bus got out with a box full of empty water bottles, and threw the entire box into the sand at the side of the road. I was floored by this but he didn’t seem to give the action a second thought. While the United States produces an overwhelming percent of the world’s garbage and pollution, it’s hard to not be more shocked by the garbage of another country when it’s staring at you by the side of the Nile River. What disturbs me most about the total disregard for pollution is that Egyptians would allow ancient landmarks to be so… filthy; instead of taking pride in some of the most fascinating landmarks in the country, and even in the world, they are trashed, and also, may I add, often destroyed and defaced. For a country who’s economy relies so heavily on tourism, it’s a shame and a surprise that Egyptians don’t take more pride in the upkeep of beauties like the Great Pyramids and Giza and Luxor Temple.

On a more positive note, I’d like to stress the fact that while in Egypt and Jordan I never once felt unsafe or insecure in my surroundings. On the day when Brett, Ann and I stayed in Cairo while the rest of our group was in Alexandria, we walked the streets as obvious tourists, and yet I never felt as though we were in danger. Sure, sometimes people stared, and sometimes I received (quite a bit) of unwanted attention, but for the most part we were treated with respect. Still, it was impressive to see the overwhelming number of tourism police that are scattered throughout the country. While these men (I never once saw a tourism police woman) often seemed bored, it was admittedly reassuring to see them and also have their help in certain situations – occasionally they intervened if anyone in the group was being overly hassled by market merchants or the like. Additionally, they came to our assistance when our bus broke down in the Sinai Desert, and our bus often had a police escort car (or two) while transferring locations. When we were at large monuments and in cities, we also had an armed guard. Lastly, at all hotels and the cruise boat there were metal detectors and x-ray machines. While these measures of security didn’t always seem necessary, or relied upon, it was fascinating to compare security measures in Egypt versus those in the United States.

Our trip, in my opinion was, on the whole, wonderful and eyeopening. Regardless of how we felt about some of the aspects of the trip, it was great to share the experience with Brett, especially because it was a vacation and an engagement celebration in one. Considering the fact that my career interests lie in Africa and the Middle East, I’m happy to have finally gotten my feet on both continents, and hope that it won’t be long before I (or we) are back again.

<3 J