Well, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?
A lot has happened since I wrote an actual update post. Here’s a recap:
Francis “Frank” Bolton
My dad’s death on March 27th almost brought life to a standstill. While he’d been sick for a couple of weeks, and certainly hadn’t been himself since suffering a fall last October when a heart condition caused him to collapse and his defibrillator kicked in, I cannot in any way say that his death was imminent or expected. On the morning of the 27th he went into cardiac arrest, and died at home. He did not suffer, and he would never have seen it coming. I guess his body was just tired of almost 75 well lived years. I find comfort in the fact that his time on earth came to an end just the way he would have wanted - quickly and painlessly - and he was in a place where he felt most at home. It’s been two months since dad’s death and while it seems like almost yesterday that we were having afternoon tea together on the back deck, it also feels as though he’s been gone for a very long time. I miss him every day, but through my memories of him I have reason to make the most of my own time on earth, and honor his life in everything that I do.
In the fall, we will do our best to honor dad’s wish of having his ashes scattered in the Nile River in Egypt. He and mom spent about a month in Egypt in 2005, a trip which had been one of his life-long dreams. Although he lived for a number of years in the Middle East, both alone and with my mom, he had never been to Egypt but felt a strong connection to its culture and vast history. During the last week of October mom, Em, Brett and I will fly to London where we’ll connect with my brother Alastair, his wife Gabi, and their daughter (my neice) Anna, as well as very good friends of my parents’, Anne and Jim Jamel from Ireland. From there we will fly to Luxor, where we will spend a few days celebrating dad’s memory. It will certainly be a bittersweet trip, but I think it will really give us all some peace to honor dad’s last wishes.
The wedding
Despite our unexpected loss, we never considered changing the vacation and wedding as planned. On the contrary, I think focusing on wedding preparation really helped us all to cope with the overwhelming loss. We spent just over a week on Grand Cayman before the wedding took place on May 1st. While a post with all of the details of the wedding would take ages to write (and even longer to read!) I’ll put it simply that we had an absolutely lovely time. The wedding itself took place on a Friday, but most of the 24 guests stayed from Wednesday to Sunday. While we had some organized activities, including a boat trip to the famous Stingray City and a “rehearsal dinner” at a delicious Tex-Mex restaurant (no need for an actual rehearsal, since the ceremony was very casual), for the most part we wanted all of our guests to enjoy themselves and do what they wanted - after all, this was as much of a vacation as it was a wedding celebration for most of our guests.
I’d heard brides say that their wedding days went by way in the blink of an eye, and I can absolutely say the same for mine. One of Brett’s main concerns before the wedding was that I not stress about details and decisions on the actual day of our wedding, and because of that we decided that we would spend much of the day alone, together. For most of the morning we relaxed, walked on the beach, and chatted with guests (ok, so we weren’t technically alone, but it was time spent relaxing as the preparations of the day were taken care of by our moms and wedding party). The time seemed to go by more quickly as the day went on, and by the time we actually arrived together at the Grand Old House, we had very little time to enjoy getting ready. For those of you who don’t know, one of the decisions we made in advance was to make our time together before the ceremony more intimate by dressing each other alone, without any other family or friends. While the idea of getting dressed with the special ladies in my life would have certainly been wonderful, Brett and I both really liked the idea of seeing each other in our wedding attire for the first time alone, so that it would be a private moment shared only by us. It was made even more special by the fact that Brett surprised me by wearing a long-sleeve button down white linen shirt and linen pants, while I was under the false impression all along that he had been quite lackadaisical about finding wedding attire, and would resort to wearing a wrinkled and stained polo shirt and cargo shorts. I was very pleasantly surprised, although I have to admit that I had a hunch all along that he would not disappoint, and he did look incredibly handsome. The outfits of the groomsmen, chosen by Brett’s friend Adam, were also a pleasant surprise - gray linen shirts and white linen pants complimented the blue silk taffeta bridesmaid dresses. As for my dress, early on in my search I fell in love with the Lee Ann Belter Lois - a strapless silk satin floor-length gown with a border of lace. Lee Ann’s dresses are all custom made, so I was able to request the dress without a train, and with the satin waist ribbon detachable, so that I could decide whether I wanted to wear it or not. The dress was purchased from The Plumed Serpent - a bridal boutique in nearby Westport that came very highly recommended when we were first starting to look for dresses. All-in-all I was very happy with the experience that I had when choosing my gown from them, as opposed to choosing it from a much larger boutique that I had the horror of experiencing (I’m looking at you, Kleinfelds). I loved my dress, and I was really happy that Brett seemed to like it too!
Now, to the wedding itself. When trying to decide on the details of the ceremony, we were a little stuck about the fact that the person who would actually be responsible for marrying us would be in essence, a stranger. We decided to ask our friend Scott Cook, who we’ve both blogged about many times before, if he would be willing to be our officiant. We were delighted when he not only agreed, but was enthusiastic about being ordained. We enjoy referring to him as Reverend Cook, adding to his existing titles of Professor, Doctor, Dive Master, and outdoorsman extraordinare. The service was just as we had wanted it - short, sweet, and meaningful. While I often scoffed at the idea that rain on one’s wedding day is good luck (I’ve always thought it was just said to make brides feel better), and joked that I would probably be the bride unlucky enough to have rain on my wedding day IN PARADISE, I admit I didn’t mind when, just shortly after the ceremony had finished and we were safely enjoying champagne and hors d’oeuvres under a tent on the deck, there was a fleeting shower. After it was through, our photographer, Courtney Platt, was able to take some really pretty shots of us with the tumultuous sky (sunset included) in the background. Speaking of Courtney, we were both really pleased with the way he photographed the wedding, and with the way the actual wedding photos from him came out - no small feat when the groom himself is a photographer. During the cocktail and hors d’oeuvres hour we took some standard portrait shots as well as some candid fun photos. Then, we cut the cake - an event that garnered some great shots of Brett and I completely COVERING each other in chocolate and vanilla - before sitting down to a really amazing meal in a lovely gazebo. The food and wine was delicious, and the service was excellent. Although we didn’t have a DJ (the Grand Old House plays really wonderful jazz and classical throughout the restaurant) or dancing, it was really wonderful to just relax, sit back, and completely stuff ourselves. Afterward, we went back to the condominiums where we stayed, to sit by the pool and jacuzzi. We really couldn’t have asked for anything more for our wedding day.
Little Cayman
Most guests stayed on the island until Sunday, at which time we waved a bittersweet goodbye as they returned home and we flew to Little Cayman for our honeymoon - a four day stay at the Little Cayman Beach Resort for some S.C.U.B.A. diving with Scott and Laura. The island is MUCH smaller than Grand Cayman - only 150 permanent residents - and is still recovering from some pretty devastating effects caused by the hurricanes of 2008. The resort has done an incredible job of repairing and rebuilding - the rooms are really sleek with environmental wares and come equipped with flat screen televisions and iPod docks. The food, served buffet style in one restaurant that feeds the entire resort, was incredibly fresh and delicious - the chef even prepared special meals for Brett and me to meet our vegetarian needs. Additionally, the diving was spectacular. We dove twice each morning for three days and saw some really beautiful animals and reef life. The dive staff was really helpful and very friendly. As you can probably tell, the whole experience, both the wedding and the honeymoon, was really enjoyable and memorable. From what we can tell, all of our guests really enjoyed themselves too, and we couldn’t have asked for anything more.
Well, I think that’s enough for now! I haven’t even gotten to the topic of work life but, about which there are definitely updates to be discussed, but I think I’ll save that for another post - hopefully tomorrow or Tuesday.
Until then, how about you? What’s new in your lives? We’d love to know who’s still following our blog, and to hear about your life updates. We’ll look forward to them!
<3 J
FRANCIS (FRANK) JAMES BOLTON passed away March 27, 2009, due to cardiac arrest at his home in West Norwalk, CT. Born in Pulloxhill, Bedfordshire, England on June 1, 1934, Frank was the son of the late James Thomas and Ethel Cooper Bolton. His early childhood was spent in East Knoyle, Wiltshire, where he attended primary school. Even in his later years, he always retained immense affection for the Wiltshire rural life and its people. Educated later at Eastbourne Grammar School in Sussex, he joined British Overseas Airways Corporation in 1956 first as a steward and later as purser. During the next ten years in service to BOAC, he fulfilled his early dreams of flying to distant places in an age when international airline travel meant luxury and service. He had a wealth of adventurous stories from those days; close encounters with foes and disasters of every sort as well as survival tales of evacuations from British colonial outposts during times of civil unrest.
